I've made my choice.

As I write this post , it will be the last of what you'll hear from me .. and no .. I'm not dying (:

I thank you though, fellow readers out there who has been following my blog (: My apologise for not putting in the effort to make it more meaningful and interesting ( hmm .. I wonder since when it was ever interesting in the first place .. haha ) Oh well, it's just that I feel pointless in trying to continue this blog because it has lost it's meaning .. plus just trying to update for the sake of updating ain't helping at all.

Life as it is, that's was what my blog is all about but I think despite what happens in my life, I don't have to go on jotting down every single thing of my thoughts here. I'll do just alright keeping it to myself (:

So off the blogging world for me, this is the end of the chapter of

A boy on a string ..

-190609-

A boy on his knees .. exhausted & ashamed

this chapter of my life is called : superman-in-the-making

I'll always remember Isaiah 40 : 30
" that even when you grow tired and weary, and when young men stumble and fall, but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength, they will soar on wings like eagles, they will run and not grow weary, they will walk .. and not be faint "

Running this race, this whole Christian life .. is getting really really really tough .. it's hard .. and i can't take it sometimes, the feeling of not bothering about my stands anymore, the feeling of hopelessness, I'm tired .. question is ' What is God doing? and why? '

Such a normal phrase that almost everyone would have said it before, but this really sucks a lot, and it scares me sometimes. What happened to the fire that I had burning within me? That passion for Christ, living for His name. Hack! Sometimes .. I feel ashamed being known as a believer now, as Your son.

I'm sorry .. I'm sorry for the things that I've done that wasn't pleasing into your eyes, for the things I've said about You. doubting and cursing.

I know that You are GOD and I should be trusting and putting my faith in You. and no matter how hard it is right now .. in believing .. in a whole lot of things .. please be with me Lord?

I find it hard to stand before you sometimes, to be worship leading or to play for You, I can't do it with a heavy heart. i don't want to be a hypocrite.

The pressure in this world, to not give in .. takes a lot of guts and strength .. it's just sometimes, I just want a sense of belonging and not being the odd one, you know? but I guess, I should know myself.

One thing is for sure, I've never forgotten about my promise to You, that as long as I am in this world .. I'll continue to testify in Your name, spreading the good news and to carry my cross daily for You ..

- it's time to get right with the You

Lord, please forgive me .. =/

Aloha!

Before I start. Just want to say this picture is awesome! Love the reflection of the water!

[ So yeah Colin? When are you gonna start taking ur own pictures!? -_- ]

Greetings Dear Friends :)

Yes, I know I have been away for quite some time. Been busy. But as for now. one sem out. 2 more months of HOLIDAYING! Woooohooo!

I must say life has been pretty tight up with events to random trips, football competitions as well as enjoying a relaxing day on a beach =D ( just what I needed ) and many more which .. hmm .. not so important to tell ..

As for now .. I'll try to get back my inspiration and start getting back to make this blog more meaningful? :)

Till then, take care people

God bless

H o p e

despite the fallen rain .. as least the sun still tries to shine ..

with a grateful heart..

I love you Yasmin Ahmad for the work you have done

that had touched all of us with this beautiful story..

A must watch movie .. (9/10)

Welcome to life =D

Hello, good morning, everyone underneath the glorious Son
I wrote a little song for you
Sometimes we forget we are the image of the Love of God
So please, if you don't mind, let me remind you
That we were made to love each other as a sister and a brother,
imitate perfection in this imperfect world

So, welcome to life; I hope you enjoy it
in between yesterday and tomorrow.
Welcome to life; I hope that you get it right

And on the way, I do confess we stumble, fall,
and make a mess of everything we try to hold dear.
So be honest when you pray, and maybe thank Him for today.

Let go of the future so unclear
Listen for the voice of mercy, cast out all your fear and worry
Can't you see you've only got room for the cross?

So, welcome to life; I hope you enjoy it
in between yesterday and tomorrow.
Welcome to life; I hope that you get it right

And you live and you'll die; you'll be honest and you'll lie.
Put you trust where the truth is and your treasure where you heart is.

So, welcome to life; I hope you enjoy it
in between yesterday and tomorrow.
Welcome to life; I hope that you get it--

And, welcome to life; I hope you enjoy it
in between yesterday and tomorrow.
Welcome to life; I hope that we get it right,

I hope that we get it right...

matt maher - welcome to life

Assalamuailakum...

so it's been a while since I'm here in the blogging world.
I'll be back with something good yeah?
quite busy at the moment =)

But before i go.. I just had too lar!

It's Yasmin's .. memang lar!

her movies always make me proud to be a malaysian..

but unfortunately it's not showing in malaysia =/

once you've watched the film.. you'll know why..

they are just being their own sensitive self

you-know-who-i'm-talking-about-yeah?

And this!!

Coming soon - 26th March 2009

=(

I look beyond the empty cross

forgetting what my life has cost

and wipe away the crimson stains

"dull the nails that still remain"

More and more I need you now,I owe you more each passing hour

the battle between grace and pride I gave up not so long ago

So steal my heart and take the pain

and wash the feet and cleanse my pride

take the selfish, take the weak,

and all the things I cannot hide

take the beauty, take my tears

the sin-soaked heart and make it yours

take my world all apart

take it now, take it now

and serve the ones that I despise

speak the words I can't deny

watch the world I used to love

fall to dust and thrown away

-jars of clay -worlds apart

- wipe away the crimson stain..

Petronas - Happy Chinese New Year 2009

Yes I know it's rather late to be wishing a Happy Chinese New Year to all of you? but hey? Ain't cny 15 days? =) *Promoting time for more ang-pau!!!* and well, Yasmin's lastest tv commercial! Yeap, dedicating it to all of you.

Gong Xi Fa Chai

and a Happy New Year to all !

Back to square one

"As the heavens are higher than the earth,

so are My ways higher than your ways

and My thoughts than your thoughts"

- Isaiah 55:9 -

so why not just leave just about everything to Him?
It does feel good if you just let Him be...and you mind your own business

AirAsia: The Story So Far

Directed by (my all time fav) acclaimed film & commercial director Yasmin Ahmad. The story of how Kamarudin Meranun (AirAsia director) and Tony Fernandes (AirAsia CEO, Founder) made the first budget no-frills airline, AirAsia, to Malaysians with the tagline "Now everyone can fly". Just watching the video clip below, inspiring.. Dreams do come true? Feel inspired? I do feel anything is possible if you go for it =) Don't let anything stop you.

Back to school time!

It's college time again! it's good to be back in college.. why? cause I miss everybody. The only thing I wished I didn't do? was to make a fool out of myself on my FIRST day of class, it was this project management class and we had to plan for a project that could actually help save environment or whatsoever.. and i just had to say..

"Oh! I love the idea of coral reefs.. it's interesting. plus they are about to extinct"

" ......................"

* long pause*

and then everyone started laughing ...

all this while, i thought coral reefs were like starfish

- what a great start yeah!!? -_-"

the night that end it's chapter

Date 16 Jan 09
Time 8 31 pm

so i'm standing in the middle of the train looking around me, no place to sit. I turn to my left and notice a women in her 20's sniffing softly trying to wipe her tears away after reading a msg in her phone over and over again, standing at the corner of the door in the train just staring at the dark view outside the window. If only I had a tissue with me..

I turn to my right .. and I could hear laugthers and the smiles on their faces of young teenage guys and girls..

Both emotions. thats how i felt that very night. Oh and in case you didnt know? It's the end of my internship =)

so how did it go?

Awesome I would say.. For the experience that i've gone through, the people that I have met! In her last recording voice-over, Joanna Bessey actually recorded a song and gave it to me for my last day of work. It was so sweet of her to do so, not forgetting she has a beautiful voice. I had a good time working together with my colleagues and my boss. I know I never reveal in pictures about my company or about my work. Reason being it's because i wanna keep it P&C .. College encouraged us not to write about our company .. so yeah.

oh well, so there is a mix feelings now.. I kinda like work and will miss it despite knowing it's gonna be pressurizing and stressful but heh? which job doesn't? then again, colin gan? Go back to college and finish your course! eheh..I thank God for the creativity He has given me (it always comes just in a nick of time) and never failed.. to meet those crazy datelines.

so here's a toast to manhood. I've tasted it and hey? You know what? It ain't that bad =)

-another chapter end

devotion

You are my strength when I am weak
You are the treasure that I seek
You are my all in all

Seeking You as a precious jewel
Lord to give up, I'll be a fool

Cause You are my all in all

Amen

a time to change

I've seen enough, I heard enough

It's never too late for a change?

Yeap! never to late..

Let's hope there are some progress to it !
Run, fight.. whatever illustration there is..
I believe it's possible to happen

Ain't looking for perfection

ilookatmyselfinamirrorandseeanimageidontwannabesoimgonnatakethismomentochangeineveryaspectwithGod'shelp.

- I got to start taking my own pictures. Haha

Award winning Freedom Film Fest 07'

Transgender issue is real, but it is a reality many Malaysian will not admit to. Treated as a sex object and often the butt of lewd jokes and social outcasts, many boys who had the urge of becoming a girl, resisted it. Suganya begs to differ. 'She's my son' tells the story of Suganya from her mother's point of view. "He", before the sex change, had the courage to face the reality and today, as "she", stroll the road confidently with her family and friends accepting the reality as she did.

Part 1



Part 2


A true definition of a unconditional, loving mother.

me

Football is what I need right now

Another brand new year..

So it's 2009 already.. not a good start .. Anyway I really wonder what do You have in store for me .. I don't have any clue.. all I know I'm Yours..

I start the day, the war begins, endless reminding of my sin
Time and time again Your truth is drowned out by the storm I'm in
Today I feel like I'm just one mistake away from You leaving me this way

I know You've washed me white, turned my darkness into light
I need Your peace to get me through, to get me through this night
I can't live by what I feel, but by the truth Your word reveals
I'm not holding on to You, but You're holding on to me
You're holding on to me

Jesus, You know just how far the east is from the west
I don't have to see the man I've been come rising up in me again
In the arms of Your mercy I find rest'cause You know just how far the east is from the west
From one scarred hand to the other
One scarred hand to the other
From one scarred hand to the other

east to west - casting crowns

On a random note

Yeap.. it's Chong Keat birthday today.

Happy Birthday beloved brother!!! =D

* pict was taken last year i think *

My beloved is turning 25 =)