A naughty child of God

As i reflect on my life, on the spiritual side. Indeed God has been really real in my life.When things were bad, only at the end of the day He reveal Himself to me. That doesn't mean that He wasn't there with me through those bad times, i guess he was just teaching me ( displining me ) and i can see why He did so. Thank you Lord =)

So how do i describe my life as a teenager? - can i say Ugly?

It wasn't about my school.I love ACS till now. It was more to myself, about how i was? Funny how sometimes people say being a Christian, we must be perfect all the time? ' yes of course? but Christians are human too? ..We're not perfect.. only God IS '

Well I became quite a bitter person as i was growing up. I hated everything in my life. There were a time when i hated my family, my friends, the world but more to myself and God. What's wrong with me eh? Of course it's very normal i guess? izzit? Mostly everyone would have gone through that kinda stage? I? treated God like some magician/maid. Whatever i prayed for? I WANTED Him to answered it now! now means now..

I blame God for every bad thing that comes my way.

I was desperate you see? I just wanted things to be different, My way! but the more i questioned Him? Somehow things just got worst -__-"

One thing about me as a teenager? I was a real hypocrit.. I really had a tough time with God, struggling through life, trying to work things out of my own. 'God.. i've been patiently waiting for my prayers to be answered.i cannot wait any longer..sorry' In church, I'll put on my mask. A smiling face as if nothing is wrong with me. good acting? Here i go doing things in church, being active and all, LEADING!?! yeah that's me..In Project Samuel, I learn about integrity. Then what happen? Though i know about it but never really did put it into practice. in a way? I was like wasting unc Paul Long's time/teaching. Goodness la you ColiN!

I've always remembered this sentence when I was growing up...

A young man in the mirror always look at himself and reflect on who he really is

- A child of God

Integrity is very important.Remembering God's word and be a shining light to others.

I was form 2 when i re-dedicated my life to God.It was that turning point that though i was a hypocrit/hated life/LOA nuisance, i was really trying. Yet somehow i just seem so good in failing and I really fail Him big time.I let Him down.. Whenever i think about my past? tears flow simply because of how i've treated the my God , the one who created me , the one who died for me.. i don't deserve such love..

So now im 17 going on 18 =)

That's when Rbs came along.

How to describe Rbs? - like going to a disiplinary school

Personally to me?

God really had to take drastic measures.. Locking me up on a deserted Hill in Pahang, Was freezing cold in the morning and at night, there was practically nothing up on that Hill. but i met 44 lovely bunch of people >_< I was there for 1 1/2 month and everyday God is like slapping me, throwing bricks on my head. OUCH!! it really hurts a lot. I've em..never cried so much before nor even cried like a baby since baby time? O_o

All this was to get me back on track in order He can use me as his instrument. God had to fix me cause i was a bit 'spoil liao'. Me, as His child, His servant - He has great plans for me and it shall go according to His plan.

Not mine...

I thank Him, indeed I thank God that He put me in Rbs. All the bad things that had happen to me, because God always take whatever is bad and turn it into good.Im sure everyone would always say this. IF GOD IS GOOD,WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN?! God has his plans..He allows bad things to happen in our life,cause sometimes that's the only way we can learn.How we slowly turn back to Him, relying on Him, realizing that without Him-we can't do anything.

I love you papa-in-heaven,sorry for the times i was naughty, thank you for forgiving me and my sin.

So here lies my blog.. A boy on a string speaks about me, learning to let go of things in life (my problems,worries,future.etc..) and let God take over everything..Offering up my life to Him, everything that i've been through, using it for His glory...

Jesus what can i bring,

What can i give,

To so faithful a Friend,

To so loving a King

Saviour what can be said

What can be sung

As a praise of your name

For the things you have done

Oh my words could not tell

Not even in parts

Oh depts of love that it shows

By this thankful heart

A boy on a string.

-Born 891215
-Accepted Christ 1997
-Re-dedicated my life 040223
-Baptized 040719